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Tantric Sex for Men - Diana Richardson

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Dedicated to Mother Earth

Tantric Inspiration

Even after a lifetime of sexual experience we never reach anywhere near that supreme stage, near that divinity.

Why? A man reaches a ripe old age, comes to the end of his life, but he is never free from his lust for sex, from his

passion for intercourse. Why? It is because he has never understood nor been told about the art of sex, about the

science of sex. He has never considered it; he has never discussed it with the enlightened ones.

OSHO, TRANSCRIBED TEACHINGS,

FROM SEX TO SUPERCONSCIOUSNESS

CONTENTS

Cover Image

Title Page

Dedication

Preface by Michael Richardson

Introduction

1 Male Burden of Performance

RELAXING INSTEAD OF PERFORMING

HUMANS NEED MORE SEX

EXPLORATION AND VULNERABILITY

SEXUAL CONDITIONING AND HOW IT SHAPES US

2 Involuntary Ejaculation and Desensitization

EXCITEMENT CAUSES PREMATURE EJACULATION

SENSATION REDUCES SENSITIVITY

WOMEN’S SEXUAL RELUCTANCE

3 Ejaculation Is Not Male Orgasm

LOSS OF ENERGY AFTER EJACULATION

CONTAINING THE LIFE FORCE

BENEFITS OF COOLING DOWN

4 The Equal and Opposite Force of the Female Environment

MEN AND WOMEN ARE NOT THE SAME

SHIFT FROM SENSATION TO SENSITIVITY

5 The Penis—A Potent Electromagnetic Instrument

SEXUAL CONDITIONING INFLUENCES SEXUAL BEHAVIOR

DEVELOPING SENSITIVITY THROUGH BEING CONSCIOUS

A HIGHLY SENSITIVE MAGNET

6 Awareness, Movement, Penetration, and Erection

AWARENESS

MOVEMENT

THE ART OF CONSCIOUS PENETRATION

SPONTANEOUS ERECTION AND IMPOTENCE

7 Dates, Foreplay, Kissing, and Positions

MAKE LOVE DATES

FOREPLAY

TANTRIC KISSING

POSITIONS DURING SEX

8 Sexual Healing and Male Authority

VAGINA, NOT CLITORIS

THE PENIS AS HEALING CATALYST

STAYING PRESENT

DEEP, SUSTAINED PENETRATION

ALLOW OLD FEELINGS TO SURFACE

POSITIONS SUITABLE FOR DEEP, SUSTAINED PENETRATION

PARTNERING WITH WOMEN

9 Mastering Love and Overcoming Emotions

DISTINGUISHING BETWEEN EMOTIONS AND FEELINGS

OVERCOMING FEARS CREATED BY LACK OF LOVE

GOLDEN RULES FOR GETTING RID OF EMOTION

THE ROLE OF EMOTIONS IN SEX

EXPRESSING FEELINGS IN THE PRESENT

HUMANS NEED LOVEMAKING FOR CONTINUED WELL-BEING

MALE AUTHORITY THROUGH TAKING RESPONSIBLE ACTION

10 Personal Experiences

APPENDIX Exercises for Improving Your Awareness and Sensitivity

Recommended Books and Resources

About the Authors

About Inner Traditions • Bear & Company

Copyright & Permissions

Tantric Inspiration

When sex is just an unconscious, mechanical urge in you, it is wrong. Remember, sex is not wrong: just the

mechanicalness of it is wrong. If you can bring some light of intelligence into your sexuality, that light will transform

it. It will not be sexuality anymore—it will be something totally different, so different that you do not have a word for

it.

In the East we have a word for it—Tantra. In the West you don’t have a word for it. When sex becomes joined

together, is yoked with intelligence, a totally new energy is created—that energy is called Tantra.

OSHO, TRANSCRIBED TEACHINGS,

PHILOSOPHIA PERENNIS

PREFACE

By Michael Richardson

Sex is not what it seems to be. We all have inherited preconceptions and ideas about sex, which are

mostly false and form a screen, or barrier, that separates us from the real power of sex. When we

look beyond the inherited screen of misunderstanding we discover that sex is completely different

from what we generally think it is. Through sexual exploration I personally have discovered the true

function of sex, which is to bring more love into the world. Each and every person can be a

messenger of love by creating more love and contributing it to the world.

The screen of conditioning—our past experiences and ideas—limits our human sexual expression.

After all, what does a man want when he makes love to a woman? What is the ultimate reason for

making love? It is not to achieve ejaculation; it is to be loved by the woman.

Woman is the source of love, the mother of love, and I, as a man, am able to tap into that love. For

me, love is what it is all about. Being in the here and now, I’ve discovered that in stillness, including

inner stillness during movement, I can tap into or connect with the “garden of love” in woman. And

there is nothing more satisfying and touching than seeing a woman radiating, blossoming in love.

I do have hope for humanity. The only hope is for man to find a way through his screen of

conditioned sexuality, so that he may come to rest within his male authority. So that he can make

peace with woman and make love to her body, heart, and soul.

INTRODUCTION

There are a great many books about sex offering a range of techniques best described as the “effort”

or “doing” approach. Little is mentioned about the “relaxed” or “non-doing” approach in sex, which

is why we decided to write a book from the man’s perspective. The non-doing approach is not a

technique, but the opportunity to change yourself through changing the ways you express yourself

sexually. The orientation is one of sexual union as a meditation in which the intelligence is handed

back to the genitals.

Tantric Sex for Men also complements the previously published Tantric Orgasm for Women,

which many men say is actually a book for men. Nonetheless, to explore sex specifically from the

male perspective is of immense value. Readers are also referred to The Heart of Tantric Sex: A

Unique Guide to Love and Sexual Fulfillment, which offers the “Love Keys” and many specific

details about lovemaking that do not necessarily appear in this book. Here our intention is to offer a

completely new picture of sex, one that brings about a revolutionary and evolutionary shift in the way

w e think about sex, and therefore express ourselves in sex. Through a change of mindset we can

intentionally allow the body to relax into its inner wisdom and express itself as nature intended.

Our body of knowledge is based on personal experience and has been confirmed by thousands of

couples who have passed through our weeklong residential “Making Love” retreats over the past

twenty years. During the retreats there is no nudity, no partner swapping, and each couple arrives

committed to each other for the week. The atmosphere is respectful, supportive, and professional. We

sometimes share with couples how fortunate we feel to have the best work in the world. Actually, it

is pure pleasure and not work at all. We experience unlimited joy in seeing couples rise in love out of

stagnation right in front of our eyes, in a handful of days. This is not only one couple, but twenty-five

or more couples simultaneously. Everything proceeds easily, gently, naturally, and with virtually no

effort on our part.

Although sex has been practiced in certain ways for thousands of years, we don’t believe it has to

continue in the same way forever. Over the years we have come to recognize that changing the way

we make love changes and empowers our lives in loving, magical, mystical ways. However, this kind

of transformation happens only through direct experience, and not by simply thinking that it sounds

like a great idea. To gain access to insider knowledge, the experience has to be lived fully by the

individual on a cellular level. Transforming our basic sex energy into its higher vibration of love, as

described in the chapters ahead, raises the quality of love on personal, social, and cosmic levels of

consciousness.

During our time working in the field of sexuality some couples who have attended our retreats have

naturally separated and gone different ways. Our approach is not foolproof; rather, it depends on

individual awareness, curiosity, and an interest in change. To our great astonishment, over the years

we have witnessed a steady trickle of men returning to our retreats with a new lover. Actions are said

to speak louder than words, and the return of so many men is their living endorsement of the immense

value of changing the way one makes love. Once a man has been fortunate enough to have a taste of

his male potency flowing into and through a woman, and being received by her, he naturally hopes to

create similar experiences for himself in the future.

Sometimes women are more ready than men to change their sexual ways. If your woman is ready to

embark on an adventure into the unknown, follow her lead and let her take you to new horizons. Give

it a whirl; there is really nothing to lose. Quite possibly you will gain more love and insight than you

can imagine.

Humans have progressed in countless amazing ways, yet sex, the dimension closest to home,

remains unexplored territory. Perhaps now is the time to move beyond the familiar and take a step in

human sexual evolution.

To those men and women who have already taken this step and have written to us about their

profound personal experiences, we extend our deep gratitude to you for allowing us to use your

words in encouraging others to explore their sexual potential.

Our spiritual master, Osho, formerly known as Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh, is the source of the tantric

inspiration we now pass on to you. Osho’s interpretation of the ancient Tantra scriptures addresses

the search for harmony, wholeness, and love that is at the core of all religious and spiritual traditions,

and that is also an integral aspect of the tantric relationship between two people. It is our privilege to

include some excerpts of Osho’s tantric inspiration throughout this book. His words, appearing in text

form, were initially delivered as spontaneous oral discourses and later published in book form. The

quotes included here are those that inspired us on our journey, and in no way represent the full range

and extraordinary diversity of Osho’s spiritual insight into the human condition.

We are both vitally aware that our lives have been shaped by Osho in ways that could not have

been imagined at the outset, and for this honor we extend to him our eternal love and gratitude.

Osho Speaks on Sex

Osho’s Spiritual Insight into the Human Condition

I have almost four hundred books in my name. Out of four hundred books there is only one book on sex, and that too

is not really on sex; it is basically on how to transcend sex, how to bring the energy of sex to a sublimated state,

because it is our basic energy. It can produce life. . . . It is only man who has the privilege to change the character

and the quality of sexual energy. The name of the book is From Sex to Superconsciousness —but nobody talks

about superconsciousness. The book is about superconsciousness; sex is only to be the beginning, where everybody

is.

There are methods that can start the energy moving upwards, and in the East, for at least ten thousand years,

there has developed a special science, Tantra. There is no parallel in the West of such a science. For ten thousand

years people have experimented with how sexual energy can become your spirituality, how your sexuality can

become your spirituality. It is proved beyond doubt—thousands of people have gone through the transformation.

Tantra seems to be the science that is, sooner or later, going to be accepted in the whole world, because people are

suffering from all kinds of perversions. That’s why they go on talking about sex as if that is my work, as if twenty-

four hours a day I am talking about sex. Their repressed sexuality is the problem. My whole effort has been how to

make your sex a natural, accepted phenomenon, so there is no repression—and then you don’t need any

pornography; so that there is no repression—and then you don’t dream of sex. Then the energy can be transformed.

There are valid methods available through which the same energy that brings life to the world can bring a new

life to you. That was the whole theme of the book. But nobody bothered about the theme, nobody bothered about

why I have spoken on it. Just the word sex was in the title, and that was enough.

The book is not for sex; it is the only book in the whole existence against sex, but strange. . . . The book says that

there is a way to go beyond sex, you can transcend sex—that’s the meaning of “from sex to superconsciousness.”

You are at the stage of sex while you should be at the stage of superconsciousness. And the route is simple: sex just

has to be part of your religious life, it has to be something sacred. Sex has to be something not obscene, not

pornographic, not condemned, not repressed but immensely respected, because we are born out of it. It is our very

life source. And to condemn the life source is to condemn everything. Sex has to be raised higher and higher to its

ultimate peak. And that ultimate peak is samadhi, superconsciousness.

OSHO, TRANSCRIBED TEACHINGS,

SEX MATTERS: FROM SEX TO SUPERCONSCIOUSNESS

Tantric Inspiration

And about sex also people are very, very worried. That very worry and that very effort to do something is the

problem. Sex happens; it is not a thing that you have to do. So you have to learn the eastern attitude toward sex, the

Tantra attitude. The Tantra attitude is that you be loving to a person. There is no need to plan, there is no need to

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